TODAY IS THE DAY

I start keeping Miles again today.  My biggest concern is how Bailee is going to react when she learns that Miles is coming to Gigi’s “school” and she isn’t.  Other than that, I’m looking forward to spending some one on one time with the little guy.  We’ll see how it goes!

MAKING MEMORIES

A while back I bought ingredients to make Halloween cookies.  My thought was to have Madi and Bailee over and the girls could decorate them.   I wanted to do something like this last before now, but never did. 

Procrastination, laziness, busy life …… I could give lots of excuses for not following through with my intentions.  Kind of like when I bought blackeyed peas, cornbread mix, etc., to make New Year’s baskets for neighbors, but never did it.

It ended up being only Madi and Gigi decorating because Bailee was sick with the old stomach bug.  We missed her being with us, but still had a good time.  I thoroughly enjoyed being with Madi.

I have to admit that I was worried about picking Madi up from school.  We really haven’t been together very much and my insecurities were telling me that she might not want to be with me.  How silly that was of me, when she saw me and came running toward me with arms outstretched, all doubt was erased!  That made my heart so happy!  I really want to be able to spend more time with Madi. I want to get to know her.  That might sound strange to some, but I’m sure there are some who understand.   I’ll have to make it happen.

BAILEE IS 4

On October 17^th , TahTah and I picked Bailee up from school and took her to Build-a-Bear.  I was surprised at how quickly she decided which bear she wanted to make.  She chose a bunny bear with a birthday shirt and shoes.  Warning to anyone who might be considering going to Build-a-Bear, don’t go when there are no other customers in the store.  Too many options at extra costs are offered when the employee doesn’t have anything else to do. 

She told everyone she saw that it was her birthday, including the mall security guard.  She carried on quite a conversation with him.  Next, we went to the candy store, then to Chik-fil-A.  There she played in their “park”.  She continued to tell everyone it was her birthday and most took the time to stop and talk to her.

After a stop at Gigi’s house, we all went back to school where Bailee enjoyed cupcakes and juice with her class.  At the end of the day, she was one tired four year old!

Sleep Over = One Tired Gigi

Last night was a sleep over night at gigi's with Bailee and Miles.  Both were so very, very sweet. Pepaw decided to cut the watermelon that was pulled too early from our garden.  I can report that neither Bailee or Miles liked the watermelon.  Puffcorn for breakfast was a big hit though!

 

At two o'clock in the morning I realized why I had only kept one at a time.  My bed just isn't big enough for three people.  After getting Miles back to sleep in his bed, I kept hearing a strange noise....he was scraping the side of his bed with one finger.  I was just glad he was breathing normally.   

 

Besides a bigger bed, I'm also finding that I need a larger rocker/recliner.  The three of us are growing so much that we have a hard time fitting in it comfortably.

 

We enjoyed our day together.  Tah-Tah and Unca came to play and as usual Bailee and Miles loved them being here.  Tah-Tah made Bailee some bracelets and also showed gigi how to finger knit.  She also showed gigi how to create a new hairdo for Bailee.  Miles showed Unca how he can get off his riding toy.

 

I am so thankful that their parents let me spend time with their babies. I'm just as thankful that the babies seem to enjoy being at gigi's house.  I thoroughly enjoyed my time with these two sweeties, but will have to admit, I am one tired gigi!

I KNEW IT WAS GOING TO HAPPEN

For several years now I have had the perfect job....six hours every other week.  In return I received my health insurance and maybe a few dollars in my bank account.  Fifteen of us were informed today that our services would no longer be needed after 10/10/11.  I haven't worried about what I would do when this happened because there was nothing I could do to stop it.  My main concern is health insurance.  Has anyone with pre-existing conditions ever tried to get a private policy?  If not, let me tell you it isn't easy.  Oh, there are such policies but they are quite costly.  I know of one individual who paid $1000 a month until his premium was reduced to $800.   I'm finding myself maybe worrying just a little about the what ifs.  There are way too many what ifs to mention.  Enough of this for now.

 

I also knew that Miles was going to turn one year old.  I'm not ready for him to be one.  Since I haven't been keeping him, I feel like I have missed so much. We had his party yesterday.  Even though it was way too hot, the party was held outside.  The lesson learned is not to always believe the future weather forecasts.  I think the decision was made by all who were involved in the planning that there would be no more outdoor parties in hot weather.  Tah-Tah did an outstanding job creating decorations for his baseball-theme party.  She is an awesome aunt.

This summer has been one of the hottest I can remember not just in a long time, but for ever.  Bailee and Miles haven't been able to play in their "park" at Gigi's much at all.  Before this week it was way too hot, now this week it is too wet.

 

Recently, Bailee and Gigi had a sleepover.  We really enjoyed ourselves.  I told her that this time it was just her staying at Gigi's and another time Miles could have a sleepover.  She replied, no I will stay with Miles too.  There have been times lately that Bailee has missed me. Like the time she said "Gigi, can I come to your house tomorrow?  I just miss you!"  or when she called this week and couldn't understand why my voicemail wasn't talking back to her.  When I did talk to her, she started crying and saying she just wants her Gigi.  What's a Gigi to do?  Go see her, of course!

 

The last time I picked Bailee and Miles up from daycare, they were very sweet on the way home.  Miles started to cry and Bailee says, "its ok, I'm here" and Miles stops crying!  From then on they played peek-a-boo the rest of the way home.  The laughter coming from the backseat of my car melted my heart.

 

By the way, Miles and Gigi did get to have a sleepover without Bailee.  I really enjoy spending time with him too!  Now if I can just get him to say Gigi!  Miles is getting to be such a big boy.  He has moved into the next room at daycare.  Lucky for him, Sadie was also moved.  I can't believe he will be one this month.

 

We were getting ready to go somewhere the other day and Bailee says, "Gigi, don't leave for out me!"  She has her own way of saying things, for sure.

Happy Birthday ... and Many Many More!

Happy birthday to my daddy.  When I called to wish him a happy birthday, I sang only the first part of the song.  He reminded me to add, "and many more".  Of course, I wish him many, many more.  I might add that each year for the past several years, he has said that it would probably be his last birthday.  I can't imagine my life without him, so I just don't even try.  Intellectually, I suspect that someday I will have to face that.  Emotionally, I can't go there and won't until I'm forced.  I felt the same way about my Granny.  She was supposed to live forever.  Even though she was 90 years old and had cancer, I was in denial and I was so upset when I received the call that she had passed.  I just wanted one more time to see her, talk to her, hug her...   So, I came to visit my dad on his 86th birthday.  I usually enjoy my time with him and Carolyn, but for some reason this time, I am extra glad that I can spend time with them.  While I'm writing this, the tv is on, they are each in their recliner, I am on the couch, and look over to see both "resting their eyes".  This will be one of those priceless good memories!

 

Catching Up

Someone told me that after sinus surgery it would be about six weeks before I would really better.  I don't remember who that was, but they were right.  Sinus surgery went ok, even though the dr. was not able to drain the frontal sinus.   Melissa and Joseph were with me at the hospital, not sure what I would do without them.  Melissa spent the first night home with me.  After several more weeks of antibiotics, weekly trips to dr., and no improvement, I was given steriods which did the trick! 

 

Bailee has grown up so much over the past few months.  One day she said, Gigi, I'm getting big ..... and that makes you sad.  I told her yes but she would always be my little princess and reminded her that her daddy is still my baby boy.  She also told me that when she gets big like me that she will hold me!  She is such a sweet little princess, most of the time.

 

Bailee and Miles were surprised recently with a swing set at Gigi's and Pepaw's.  While Miles seemed to enjoy the swing, Bailee loved sliding over and over.  She said that she was going to slide forever and ever and ever!

 

Bailee noticed that Pepaw has a tooth missing and wanted to know what happened to it.  When he told her, she says, hmmm you look like Miles!

 

Last year about this time Bailee would play Chuck E Cheese in my kitchen.  Each cabinet was a game, the back door was where Chuck E was standing.  We had imaginary tokens, tickets, everything one would need at Chuck E Cheese!  Just the other day she began playing this game again.  What a memory she has.

 

What a surprise I had when Bailee recited the Pledge of Allegiance and sang God Bless America.  She is such a smart little girl.

 

When I took Bailee and Miles home one day, before we got out of the car, she said Gigi, I sure miss you :(  can I come to your house again?  It breaks my heart that I can't keep them any more. 

 

Another time after what seemed like a million questions, I hear from the backseat:

 

Bailee:  Gigi

Gigi:  What Bailee?

Bailee: I sure love you!

 

Miles continues to grow and has become a much happier baby.  Perhaps it is due to Sadie, his little girlfriend at daycare.  Miles is truly his father's son!

 

I know I am forgetting some of the funny, interesting things that Bailee says, but this is all for now.

4/4/11

Today I picked up Bailee and Miles from daycare.  I love seeing the smile on Bailee’s face when she sees me.  When we got in the car to come home, I put Miles in first, as usual.  Then Bailee and I walked to the other side so that she could get in her seat.  As I was about to start the car, Bailee said something about kissing Miles.  I thought she meant that I had not kissed him, only to find out that she was all buckled in and couldn’t reach him to give him a kiss.  What a sweet sister.

Miles had some fever when I picked him up.  When we got to gigi’s he enjoyed a bottle and then pepaw holding him and rocking him.  He tried so hard to laugh but would start coughing instead.  I do hope he gets better soon!

Bailee had a sharp fingernail and I said something about letting her mommy cut them.  Her reply, “I don’t want my mommy to cut them because she is crazy”!

Her daddy reported that a little boy came up to Bailee today and held her hand when she got to school.  Daddy gave him the evil eye and whispered in Bailee’s ear that she doesn’t need to hold little boy’s hands.  What will he ever do when she gets older??

Miles is now reaching for people when he wants them.  He is also almost sitting alone.  My how he has grown over the last few weeks.

Recently, I told Bailee that TahTah was coming to see her.  She says, “Good, I want to touch her!”

Bailee and I were talking about horses one day and she informed me that she doesn’t like horses.  Hmmm, no she only likes white ponies!

Here’s a couple of her new phrases: 

I commented that Miles would probably wake up soon, she replied “he is so predictable”.

And another that I can’t remember why she said it is, “this is serious”.

I still miss them each day, but have realized that right now I am just not healthy enough to take care of them full-time.  Hopefully, sinus surgery, tomorrow will be the beginning of my health improving.

3/30/11

Last night was a long night.  I’m not really sure why I had such a hard time getting to sleep.  Could it be the caffeine in my new pain medicine?

Melissa took me for my CT Scan and pre-op visit this morning.   For the most part the people who waited on us today seemed to be very rude.  We thought maybe they were upset because they’d spent money on pedicures so that they could wear flip flops and the temperature was in the 30s….it isn’t spring weather yet.  I don’t much like for my feet to be cold either. 

I was glad that Melissa was with me because focus was a real problem today.  Each person has to ask questions and at times they each ask the same.  They each enter my answers in the computer system which already has many of the answers.  I guess I should be thankful.

Red had a unit of blood removed yesterday at his dr. appt. This resulted in his normally high blood pressure dropping to normal, which is very low for him.  He has been in bed all day today not feeling well.  I think back how Bailee would sneak into pepaw’s room, pat him on his leg and ask him if he was ok.  She is such a caring little person.

When I had oral surgery recently, Bailee and Miles, came to visit me and brought me some yummy ice cream.  She got up on the bed with me and we shared it.  That day and night is pretty much a blur in my memory, but I do remember that special time. 

Changes

It’s been a while…with some changes along the way.  Isn’t that what life is all about….changes?  Gigi has had a (NSI) Never-ending Sinus Infection.   Three rounds of antibiotics, oral surgery, another round of antibiotics, two cultures, pain pills, and I still have the NSI.  Surgery is scheduled but if I should start to feel much, much better, I’m to call the nurse and postpone surgery.  The past month especially is pretty blurry.

For as long as I can remember I have had problems with separation anxiety.  I was such a momma’s girl that I never wanted to be away from her.  On occasion when I would visit with my grandparents, 4 hours away, I don’t think a day went by that I didn’t cry. The longest I ever stayed was a week, but at the time it seemed an eternity. It wasn’t that I didn’t love them because I did.  I just did not like being away from my mother.  I think now about how much my grandmother did to entertain me and how hard it must have been for her.  Wish I could tell her that I’m sorry that my visits made it difficult for her.  I couldn’t tell her that it would be different if I could redo it, because I’m pretty sure I would have still been miserable while away from my mother.

One of the biggest changes is that I am no longer keeping Bailee and Miles.  They are now going to full-time daycare.  To say that I had a meltdown when this occurred is an understatement. I’m sorry for getting so upset and making it even more difficult for their mommy and daddy to make the decision. Would I get upset if I had it to do over again?  Yes.  I just now can talk about it without getting a lump in my throat.  To some, I know this is silly.  Even though I know that this decision is best for all concerned right now, I still have a hard time dealing with the fact that they are not here every day.  All I could think of was that my babies were not going to be with me.  I miss them dearly.  Remember, I said I have had problems with separation anxiety?  The truth is, I am not feeling well enough to take care of them full-time and right now not even part-time.  Hopefully, I will be able to keep them at least part-time in the future. 

No longer will I be the person who hears the cute things Bailee says each day.  She is my sunshine and she makes me laugh and I miss that.  I won’t be the one who enjoys the “firsts” of Miles.  He is rolling everywhere and I missed it.  He says some sounds now, ma, da, and I’m pretty sure I heard gi last week.  His smile is contagious and I miss seeing it daily.

One thing that will never change is this...I will always be their gigi!

While taking pepaw to basketball practice, Bailee says, gigi the sun is smiling at me!  

 

Last week Bailee entertained two plumbers while they did some work at the house.  She renamed one of them Tony, not sure why she called him that. His name is really Keith. She was in the other room and I was talking to them, holding Miles.  When I went to where she was, she asked, gigi did you kiss the plumbers?  I had kissed Miles on his sweet little head and I guess she heard the smack of the kiss.

 

TahTah came over to take a few photos of Bailee and Miles.  She brought Bailee a Justin Beiber t-shirt.  I'm not sure she will ever take it off.

 

When getting ready to leave today, Bailee asked gigi if she would walk her to her car.  Once I got there, she wanted me to get in with her.

 

Yesterday, Bailee told me that when she grows up, she wants to be a gigi.  Why?  Because I just love you!  My heart melted.

 

TahTah and Unca came over to stay with Bailee and Miles while gigi took pepaw to the dentist.  Bailee thoroughly enjoys being with them.  

 

Lately, both Bailee and Miles have been fascinated by pepaw's hat.

 

Bailee has learned to "snap" her fingers, reminds me of her "whistle".  She moves her fingers and makes snap noise with her mouth.  Of course, she wanted to know if I could do it to.  She had to show me the "correct" way after my fingers made the noise instead of my mouth.

 

Miles is also fascinated with the triangle above pepaw's bed.  He is learning that it can be used for pull-ups. You can see how hard he is concentrating.

 

 

At times yesterday Bailee didn't seem to feel very good.  When I walked in living room, this is where I found her

I thought she was enjoying laying in Miles's bed, but she was actually stuck and couldn't get out by herself!
She took a very late nap, waking up at one point and telling me she needed more nap.  She said she would sleep some more at gigi's and then go to her house to sleep. 

Today Bailee is sick with a fever of 101.  I hate it when babies are sick, just makes gigi want to make it all better.

One last picture of one of my babies

Doesn't Phoebe look so pretty and clean?

 

BETWEEN SNOW DAYS

After several snow days last week, it was good to get back in our routine at least for Monday and Tuesday.  Now another snow day and this snow is unbelievable.  I don't know that I have ever seen so much, so quickly, and it is still coming down.   

 

Bailee recently made her first trip to the dentist.  From what I've been told, she was a superstar!  I'm not surprised. While playing with her friend, Phoebe, she tells me that Phoebe needs to go to the dentist.  Why, I ask?  Because her breath stinks, pew.

 

To say that Miles loves his big sister is an understatement.  His face lights up at the sound and sight of her.  While he was sitting in the pac-n-play, she wanted in with him.   So being the gigi that I am, I put her in.  Bailee did her usual job of entertaining him.  Can't you tell by the smile on his face?

 

 

 

After a while, I peeked in at them and saw them laying side by side, holding hands and watching Caillou.

 

 

 

Bailee wore her "wedding dress" one morning.  Of course, she is going to marry Justin Bieber.  Wish I had a picture to share.  Before she would watch the dancing princesses, she had to take her jeans off.  After all, princesses don't wear pants. 

 

Miles was sleeping soundly, so I took that time to do some much needed laundry.  Bailee proudly comes in laundry room and announces, "Gigi, I just already waked Miles up!"  Thank you Bailee. 

 

Bailee climbed in rocking chair with me and said, "gigi I'm so happy to be with you" and then shut her eyes for our quiet time.  How sweet is that?

 

Bailee woke up from quiet time to see gigi watching food network.  She became very excited by the "fact" that Giada has a "bizzy bake oben" just like hers and they are going to make cookies at her house.  Gigi can come too for this event!

 

When Miles woke from his nap, we went to visit pepaw in the bedroom.  Miles is very fascinated by the trapeze bar above the bed.  He acts as though he wants to do a few chin ups on it.

 

I just want to say that there is no way I could do or would even want to keep Bailee and Miles if it weren't for the fact that Bailee is the sweetest three year old. Ever.

 

 

Daisy

Bailee and Miles help get me going on Mondays, as well as the other days of the week. 

Pepaw is talking to Bailee and he tells her "thank you". I can't remember what the thank you was for.  Bailee says "you're welcome".  End of conversation?  Pepaw once again says, "thank you".  In her little sassy voice she says, "I said you're welcome".  That cracked me up and I know I probably shouldn't have laughed but it was hilarious to me.  Hmmm, wonder who she gets her sassiness from?  Could it be Tah Tah?

Cinderella was the doll of the day.  She was sick with Bieber Fever so Bailee was going to check her heart.  Cinderella survived.

Miles has about mastered holding his own bottle. See?  Little guy better not get too used to it though, because gigi still intends to help and rock.

We have quiet time every day between 12 and 1.  Bailee knows this and doesn't really fuss about it.  I always tell her she doesn't have to go to sleep.  This usually happens:

  

Bailee looked in the frig today and says there's Daisy. Not knowing what she was talking about I asked and this is it:

Oatmeal Is Healthy

Miles continues to laugh more, stay awake more, and is becoming a happy baby.  Yay, hopefully no more Mr. Cranky Pants.  He is beginning to hold his bottle and enjoys being fed with a spoon.  Favorites so far are oatmeal, sweet potatoes and bananas.  Speaking of oatmeal, which is very heart healthy, Bailee's breakfast consisted of an oatmeal creme pie.  She has learned to get them out of the pantry all by herself.

 

Ever see a baby laugh in his sleep?  Miles did just that one day this week.  He must have been having a very funny dream or maybe just so happy to have gigi rocking him!

 

Here are some of the cute things Bailee said or did this week:

 

Bailee: Gigi can I tell you a favor?  (said while sitting on potty)

Gigi:  Yes Bailee what is it?

Bailee:  Would you hand me my dbd?  (why would she need her dbd while sitting on potty?)

 

Bailee found a toy "mangazine" left over from Christmas and wanted me to "talk it to her" .  She looked at it so much the cover came off.

 

Bailee's fairy baby was her main focus on Friday.  What I would have given for a hidden camera to capture her being a little mother.  What I saw just from peeking in the bedroom door melted my heart.  Each day when she leaves Bailee wants to take something from gigi's house with her.  Friday it was her fairy baby.

 

Monday was work day for gigi...not sure how much longer it will last...hopefully longer than they are saying.  Work is my social outlet and I do enjoy being around other adults on work days.  The three of us at our table have fun even when it is them making fun of me because of my horrible hearing.  Leah is so kind...she says my mis-hearing is due to the sounds of the machines.

 

TahTah kept the babies during the morning on Tuesday.  Bailee and Miles both are so very lucky to have her in their lives.  I feel pretty lucky, as well, having her in mine.  She is amazing.

 

Gigi is having some health issues of her own lately...pre-cancerous leukoplakia...has led to two MRI's in the last week...crossing fingers that nothing else shows up.  Crossing fingers worked...no cancer! 

Backwards Update

Since I'm just a little behind I decided to do a backwards update. 

 

Saturday, was Chris's second basketball game of the season.  I'm amazed at how much faster and better he is this year.  I really enjoy being able to watch him play.  He thinks he will soon be as tall as me, but I tell him its not going to happen!

 

Bailee and Miles were both so very sweet all week long.  I think just maybe we have found the reason for Miles being so cranky most of the time....acid reflux!  The dr. prescribed zantac and he seems to be much better...we'll have to come up with another nickname for him besides "cranky pants".  I've resisted admitting that he was one of the most cranky babies ever, but now I might, just might.  Gigi has such a hard time saying or thinking anything negative about her little nuggets.

 

Guess who has a tooth!!!  Yep, Miles does.  I can't say that its his first though since he was born with one.  Perhaps another reason for his crankiness?

 

Bailee continues to amaze and humor me with the things she says.  Here are just a few from the week:

 

Gigi: Bailee you are getting sooo big!  

Bailee:  My mommy growed me this tall!

 

Bailee: Hey, gigi I have cockle shells

Gigi: Huh Bailee

Bailee:  You know, cockle shells

Gigi: Oh, do you have silver bells too? (Mary Mary Quite Contrary)

Bailee: Ah, yes

 

Bailee:  Gigi, pour me out

Gigi: What?

Bailee: You know here is my handle, here is my spout!

 

Bailee:  Hey, "wed" (red, try to get his attention)

Gigi:  Who are you talking to?

Bailee:  Some people call him "wed" but I call him pepaw.

 

Oh, the funny things that come out of the mouth of my little princess!

 

Finally, on 1/11/11 Maxwell Fisher Riley was born.  He weighed 7 lbs. 13 oz. and was 17 1/2 inches long or short whichever way you look at it.  Of course, he is perfect, like all of gigi's other grandbabies.  Everyone is doing fine and I'm sure mom and dad will have all the help they need from big sister Madi.